It's time for another weekly babble!
(Coco Chanel)
1. It's been one week since I cut my hair short and I'm loving it! Okay, to be honest, it's not really that short - it's medium length, hanging slightly above my shoulder. But the thing is, it's been years since the last time I have short (-ish) hair. I usually have a long hair that reaches to the middle of my back but even though that hair length is not really practical to have, especially when you live in a tropical country with high humidity like I do (my hair gets so sweaty every single day so I'm forced to wash it as much as possible. Which sucks because I'm not really fond of bath time. Okay, I'm not supposed to say that, aren't I?), I always feel hesitant to cut my hair short. I do have reasons for my reluctance. First, I have this round face with super chubby cheeks (especially nowadays since I've gained so, so much weight), so in my opinion, shorter hair does not really suit me because it makes me look like a steamed bun or something (a hot and delicious one, mind you). But this does not mean I've never had a short hair before. On the contrary, the time I have shorter hair is much longer than the time I have longer hair. But, every single time I have this urge to just cut my hair short, I always pick the wrong hair style. Either it did not complement my chubby face really well and made me look like an alien (I'm sure I can find a picture from my Facebook feed but I choose not to. Past is better left in the past) or the hairstylist cut my hair too short for my likings, which looked horrendous on my chubby face and turned me into an alien-looking people (again, I'm sure there is a picture of short-haired me in my Facebook but leave my past alone!) Bottom line is, I don't really have a good track record with any short hairstyle so I thought I just leave my hair the way it is. But then I started to get bored with my hair length, because it always gets so sweaty and sticky and messy and frizzy when I put it down (my hair is naturally wavy so it always gets totally wild when it meets the wind. Which is every single freaking time I'm outside) but when I put it up, I find it really hard to find a hair-do that I really like. Sure I can do a lot of things with long hair (which is also my favorite things to do with my hair) but most of the times, I just don't have to patience to style it up, so I just put my hair in a high, careless bun that looks like a samurai or tie it into a ponytail.
So I decided to just cut my hair shorter last week. This time, I spent a little bit of time researching for a hairstyle that might not go wrong and I chose one with simple layers cut and middle length (assuming that if anything goes wrong, I can still tie it into a small ponytail and waits patiently for it to grow back again).
But I love it!
Well, to be totally honest, it still looks messy and frizzy and super wild all the time (so nothing's new), but strangely I like it more. At least, it looks less insane than before. My current hair is one case of contained insanity. I might keep my hair at this length for a long time.
- When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching - they are your family -
(Cary Grant)
2. This weekend, my Mom finally went out of her cave and leave for Jakarta, thanks for my cousin's wedding party/family gathering. Of course, family gathering is nothing without a little tension and drama along the way (not going to talk about it but lemme just say this: family drama is always both a little frustrating and hilarious at the same time). And then my mom and my baby sister went to sleep over at my place (and by place, I mean, my rented room) and we had a great time together. Needless to say, I was busy running around to become a good host for both of them which is such a weird thing to experience, because as someone who has been living alone for years, I usually only have myself to take care of and as a person, I'm not too demanding. But having another human in my space means that there are a lot of things that I need to consider and look after for the sake of that other human. My mom and baby sister are not at all demanding, but there are still things that I need to do for them - things beyond my usual daily activity. For example, morning tea. Ive never been a morning person so I don't really have a morning routine other than going to the bathroom to do my stuff and dress in a hurry because I'm late to go to the office (during weekdays. On weekends, my morning routine usually consists of me going to the bathroom to do my stuff and then go back to sleep, wishing Monday never returns) so of course, I don't have this habit of having morning tea/coffee. But my mom, on the other hands, needs to have her morning tea every day with a little sugar so of course, I needed to get that ready (the sugar thing is also a problem. I don't drink tea with sugar because I like it plain so I didn't have any sugar ready that day. I ended up going to the nearest convenience store in the morning to get some breakfast and sugar and ice cream for my baby sister. Now I have a bag of sugar that I don't have any use of. Anybody wants to come around and have a tea with me?)
This kinda makes me realize that: wow, having family is difficult. Wait, let me rephrase that: having human around you is difficult. It's a weird thing to realize at my age because most of my friends are in a serious relationship/building their little family. But as a loner (in a very positive sense, not in a lonely, depressed and hermit sense. Although... okay, let's stop here), truth to be told, I've never really seen the appeal of being in a very close contact with other human. I mean, I understand that naturally human are social creature and I do have close relationship with many people and I do crave having relationship, but initiating contact and maintaining relationship has not been the easiest thing for me to do. And the past two days has strengthened my conviction that having relationship is not always a joy ride.
But you know, after my mom went home, I realized that my room felt a little bit of more empty than usual. I feel like I miss her even more, even though there are times in the past two days that I feel frustrated.
So I'm starting to think: maybe, just maybe, having relationship - any relationship - is worth a try. Or in my case, worth the fear and the anxiety.
Should we try it, self?
Si Mbak.
But you know, after my mom went home, I realized that my room felt a little bit of more empty than usual. I feel like I miss her even more, even though there are times in the past two days that I feel frustrated.
So I'm starting to think: maybe, just maybe, having relationship - any relationship - is worth a try. Or in my case, worth the fear and the anxiety.
Should we try it, self?
Si Mbak.
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